Saturday, April 26, 2008

Adoption, fatherhood, attachment, and miles apart.

My wife and I are currently in the process of adopting 2 boys from Ethiopia. When adopting you are required to read several books on the issues that can be faced we adopting. A major issue is bonding and attachment with the children. The bonding process, particularly with older children can take some time and will take a lot of effort. These children, although they may know mentally that you are there new parents, may not immediately bond with you as mom and dad.

Another issue is one that my wife and I are facing now. We just recently received information on the boys. We basically know their names, their ages, and we have seen one picture of them. Still, it will be months before we are able to bring them home. In our hearts these boys are our boys and yet they are miles from home and there is no way we can communicate with them. It is heartbreaking.

I bring all this up, because as we have gone through this adoption process I have grown to understand more and more of what scripture means when it speaks of us being adopted into God's family (see Ephesians 1:5). As I reflect on our own experiences with adoption and reflect on the theological nature of adoption from God's perspective I see Him more as that Father who longs to bond with His children but our fears and our mistrust often gets in the way of our bonding with Him.

As we wait to bring our children home I am beginning to understand how, even as we are His adopted children, from His perspective there are times where He must feel that we are miles away. I believe being a father has helped me to understand God better in the love that I have for my children. Now, I see the heartbreak of knowing your children and yet having them so far away. It has made me wonder how often the Father's heart breaks over His children not being home and not being in communication with Him?

In short, I believe this adoption process has opened my eyes to just how much the Father wants to bring His children home, to bond with them, to keep them safe, and to let them know that they are loved. I'd say, if you want a real lesson in what God has done by adopting you, then perhaps you should consider adopting.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27